That was fun,” she said when it was over and the Giants had won.
“It was,” I said. “A lot of fun.”
“I want to watch another one. Is there a game tomorrow night?”
I said there was. There will be a whole summer’s worth of games, every summer, for the rest of our lives.
Via GFOP @Ref_Dracula
Good evening gangsters,
Hold on this cigarette is too good I’ll be back when the rush wears off.
Ok, I’m back. What can I say I’m a slave to nicotine.
Holy fucknuts the past few weeks have been fantastic. Got rid of the shitness, played a lot of baseball. Consumed not so few brewed beverages. Wrote a killer paper about calculus - shit I managed to use the word ‘sex’ twice in it! The prof has to realize that alone warrants me at least an 80. Got to vote! The world cup is in one day! Allez les elepants! Allez DIDIER! Not to mention the Blue Jays playing some sexy boner inspiring baseball.
So yeah, about voting. Go out and fucking do it please. Please. Take part in the democratic process. For those that say that their vote means nothing - that’s horseshit. Your vote carries the exact weight and force as one who makes a gazillion dollars a year. Yeah that’s right! Your overtired, underfed OSAP student vote means that much! People claim that the government only caters to those who are rich - again, bullshit. Rich people get the government they want because the rich vote them in. Don’t like that? Vote for who you want. Shit, if you hate the leaders running (which is a valid point, the fucking Globe and Mail would agree with you) go ahead and decline your ballot! It serves a strong message that you: the voter, the constituent, the taxpayer and according to Elections Ontario - the costumer (LOL i know) are voting ‘none of the above’. It takes 5 mins to do and is uber important - please go fucking do it.
There seems to be a big basketball game going on today, the team in black and grey cant seem to miss a shot - wowza! I don’t care!
Now, about the World Cup. You don’t need a scantily clad Shakira Waka-Waka-ing or LaLaLa-ing (Seriously though, what the fuck is LaLaLa? Jesus Christ) to get my attention. Lo Joga Bonito always had her captive grip tight against my balls. Who am I supporting? I’m throwing my overly emotional support behind all the teams from the motherland - Africa! Why? Because Didier Motherfucking Drogba. That’s fucking why.
He joined my love, Chelsea, at the same time as I started to watch
Soccer Football. I don’t know why I loved him so much. He was known as the battering ram. He was so fucking strong (still is, goddammit). He’d hold three defenders behind his back while attempting to field a pass. He fucking stopped a war in his home country, Ivory Coast. HE STOPPED A FUCKING WAR, BEAT THAT, RONALDO! He broke my heart when he was sent off in Moscow in ‘08. He voiced the opinion of every Chelsea fan in his classic ‘It’s fucking bullshit! rant after the farce against Barcalona in ‘09. He took advantage of the the Scouse Gerrard’s errant pass to slot in the league winning goal against those fuckers in ‘09. He placed a beautful free kick against Portsmouth in ‘10. Some Japanese fuck broke his arm in the lead up to South Africa and still led his team. He scored against Napoli in that legendary comeback in ‘12. He tied the game against all odds in MunichMunich. He won that elusive whore and won a permanent place in my heart in the Champions League triumph in ‘12. I cried when he scored. I did his stupid dance when he danced. I cried when he was sent off. He broke my heart when he left.
So yeah, Shakira. Keep LaLaLa-ing straight up my ass. And yeah, hypersexualized fangirls, keep jilling off to Ronaldo’s abs and throwing your panties at pictures of Messi, the only two players you can name.
This summer is gonna be fucktastically amazing.
Until next time,
Allez les elephants! Viva Africa!
Nelson Cruz goes yard
May 28, 2014
Photo by Morry Gash/AP
Wright goes yard
May 28, 2014
Flushing, New York
Photo by Frank Franklin II/AP